Two of the selections here, "I Don't Do B and E's", and Laundry Bag, Pipe Bomb", are from the book, "Papa, Did We Break It?"
(Which you should buy: http://bellowphone.com/writings.html)

The rest are stories that I add and change up in no particular order, so check back now and then, and scroll around. Leave a comment, for cryin' out loud.

Besides the poems and the obvious parodies, all the experiences that I relate here happened just as I tell them, as near as I can remember.

Shy Girl

     After my family show one evening, there was a little girl, perhaps 6 or 7, who wanted to ask me something. She was having a terrible attack of shyness, and she couldn't get her word out; she was clinging to her mother with her face turned away and scrunched into the folds of her mother's dress.
     "What did you want to say to Mr. Solomon?" her mother asked encouragingly, at which the girl gave me a fearful glance and scrunched even tighter into the dress. The mother looked at me apologetically.
     I addressed the girl, and said, "Did you want to ask me a question? What can I do for you?"  She only clung tighter to her mother, and wouldn't look at me. Then I said, "If you want to ask me will I marry you, I'm very sorry to say that I can't, because I'm already married."
    The little girl immediately unwound from her mother, and rounded on me fiercely. "I WASN'T going to ask you to marry me!" Then she handed me a piece of paper. "Will you sign this please?"
    I would be very happy to, I told her.

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